In the words of Joe Walsh, I am just an “Ordinary Average Guy” that got mixed up in a 17 year relationship with a covert narcissist.
I met my covert narcissist on September 11th, 2007. In December, 2009 we purchased our “forever home” in Schodack, New York. We later married on April 24th, 2010.
The two of us led a relatively quiet life with our dogs and koi pond….creating and transforming our backyard into our “vacation spot” in our forever home.
In May of 2018, we hit our first “bump in the road.” This was following a visit from close friends, something we had done every Memorial Day starting in 2010. I was the recipient of two weeks of silent treatment for some unknown transgression. That led to marriage counseling.
It was during marriage counseling that I discovered that I was codependent and my spouse (Carol) was a narcissist.
Believe it or not, it seemed that things were back on track following marriage counseling. I worked with a therapist and our marriage counselor to overcome my codependency. I established boundaries, yet at the same time provided “supply” to my covert narcissist. I had things under control…..or so I thought.
On July 30th, 2024 I was preparing for a flight back home from Cheyenne, Wyoming to Albany, New York. I had spent a week visiting close friends (the same friends that would visit us every Memorial Day.) During my week long visit I was once again the recipient of the “silent treatment.” That morning I received a text message with an attached document. The message accused me of domestic abuse and said that she wouldn’t be home out of fear for her safety. Ugh.
Three days later (August 2nd, 2024) there was a knock at the door. It was the Rensselaer County Sheriff with a “no contact” order of protection. Thus began my journey of extracting myself from a 17 year relationship with a covert narcissist.
My name is Alan (Al) Tosi and I am a covert narcissist survivor.
Welcome back! Please repost your old content. I found it inspiring, real, and an honest account of what life is like with a narcissist. Also, Happy New Year!
Thank you. It’s good to be back. I can assure you that my content will be reposted. I just need to ensure that I am not violating the terms and conditions for what I post. As you would expect, narcissists don’t like to be exposed. As a result, I need to ensure I don’t post her name or likeness on my website.
Welcome back and Happy New Year! I am extremely grateful that you decided to bring your website back up. Your content here and on Quora have always been a big help to me.
It is a great New Year! I will be posting regularly on both my website and Quora. More to come.