Although narcissists are all about obtaining and maintaining supply, they are often dealing with issues of low self-esteem and shame. This is especially true with covert narcissists, which is why they seek out long term supply as compared to their overt narcissist peers. It is also why covert narcissists are fanatical about having absolute control in their relationships.
But, what happens when they lose their supply via discard? Even worse, what happens when the reality of their actions starts staring them in the eyes? What then may occur is what is referred to as narcissistic collapse. Although the DSM-V doesn’t address or speak to narcissistic collapse, there are some key things to look for when this is beginning to surface:
Narcissistic Rage
One of the more common symptoms of collapse is narcissistic rage, more notably, an increase in narcissistic rage. You may see your covert narcissist transition to a malignant narcissist. This occurs because narcissists struggle with managing their reactions. You may see increased outbursts and aggressive behavior that will be above and beyond what you are accustomed to seeing.
They Seek Revenge
Hurt the narcissist to the point of collapse and you can most certainly believe that they can and will seek retribution. They hold grudges and will retaliate against anyone who is responsible for their feelings when narcissistic collapse is near. Remember, they do not hold themselves accountable for their situation, so what they are feeling is 100% your fault.
Impulsive Reactions
When their carefully crafted self-image is threatened, you can count on the narcissist to act very impulsively in an effort to regain control of their situation. Given the hastiness of this behavior, they often get clumsy, engaging in missteps that can unravel their fake narratives that they created. In turn, this leave them feeling even more vulnerable.
Compulsive Behavior
Compulsive behaviors include substance abuse, gambling, drinking, or other behaviors that they may engage in as coping mechanisms. They may engage in these behaviors to serve as distraction or provide an escape due to their inability to reconcile what is going on around them.
Paranoia
Because narcissists are unable to be accountable to themselves, they often struggle with processing why their world is collapsing around them. The obvious answer to the narcissist is that everyone is out to get them. Increased paranoia and “unusual” behaviors that seem paranoid are telltale signs that the narcissists world is approaching collapse.
Withdrawal
Introverted narcissists are particularly prone to withdrawal during a collapse. Unlike their overt counterparts, who may demand attention and authority, introverted narcissists may retreat from conversations. This passive-aggressive behavior is an attempt to regain control, often expecting others to seek them out and provide validation, even if no offense was given.
Depression
Contrary to popular believe, narcissists do experience emotions. Covert narcissists in particular can experience feelings of turmoil, stress, and hurt. Additionally, the can experience feelings of humiliation, insecurity, frustration, and helplessness. These can all manifest themselves in feeling of depression and negative thoughts.
Self-Harm
In a last ditch effort to gain control, a narcissist may exhibit or engage in behaviors that harm themselves or can appear to be suicidal in nature. Remember, narcissistic collapse is their world turning upside down on them. Desperate times can lead to desperate measures. If you believe your narcissist is going to engage in this type of behavior, you should seek professional help for this person and be aware of your own safety needs.
Never underestimate what a narcissist may do when facing narcissistic collapse. Narcissists have a significant personality disorder that can put themselves and you in danger. The safety of you and the narcissist is paramount when narcissistic collapse is looming in the air.